I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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