So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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