if i can run in heels then i can drive
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
