super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize