If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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