im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
