I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
