R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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