You smell like stripper and shame
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
