I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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