You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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