I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
