I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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