you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
