So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
