you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
