I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize