just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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