chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
