opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She swung at the pinata with crutches
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
