EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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