I'm drive I can fine osifer
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
