There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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