I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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