You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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