my mouth tastes like poor choices
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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