We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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