My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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