But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
