If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
