He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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