he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
