I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
