I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
