BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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