are you so shy because you have an std?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
