Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
