i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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