had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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