the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
