thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
