She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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