Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize