please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Terrible idea I love it
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
