her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
