You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
