wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
