Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
