just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
