You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
