He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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