and my herpes radar will keep us safe
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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