he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
