wat bout pragnant strippers??
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
