why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i've created a new STD.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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