so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
