found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
