isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
