Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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