Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
