I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
