Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
