I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
