I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
