Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
