The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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