I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
