I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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