We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
