When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
