I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
