watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Randomize
