she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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