Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
