I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
third nipple confirmed
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
