I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
