She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
