I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
